EN'DALETH, Nam'en

Just wanted to let you know, we're going to be using a new form of character application in which you'll instead put the info into your character's profile. The info will pretty much be the same, so you'll be able to copy and paste everything. I just figured I'd let you know ahead of time so that you're not too surprised when i ask you to put all of this info into your profile. I'll let you know when this change will occur though; I'm still waiting on someone to finish the plugin to make this happen.

In the meantime though...

-Everything looks pretty good, but I'd like you to expand more on her history. It's a good history, just a little vague. Here's some points I would like to see expanded in her history:

1. You say that her mother was able to teach Ellena to control her magic. Did her mother have magical abilities? If yes, try to incorporate that. If not, where would she have learned about how to control one's powers?

2. Since she's the librarian, I'd really love to see her love and passion for books incorporated into the history. It could have stemmed from her mothers stories. Perhaps she could have spent a lot of time, among the Elendil, reading and delving into books? So long as you can stress this in some way, so that we can clearly see why she was chosen as the Tower's Librarian, you're good.

-In her history, you say "However, after Ellena had made the choice to leave the mountains, her elemental magic appeared." This is a little confusing and, while I know what you mean, others may be slightly boggled by this. Maybe you could add that this forced her to stay at the end of this sentence?

-There's a few grammar and spelling mistakes that could use fixing, though these are minor and won't determine whether or not she's accepted.

EDIT: There's a few other things I forgot to put down before:

-You say she's half Elendil and half human, but you only have down Elendil under the basics.

- You have "Nam'en En'daleth" down alongside her name, but only mention that her name is Ellena Rosewood. Where does this extra name come from? Or, if possible, could you do away with it?

-Her age... she's eighty years old, so even among the Elendil she would be a little over middle aged. Katie Mcgrath is 29... so while she's not the worst playby for her, she's still a little young looking. BUT, seeing as she's half human, she wouldn't have the life span of an Elendil elf anyway. Her lifespan would be dependent on both of her parents' races. That being said, she would be well over middle-aged... I know, it's a little complicated. My suggestion, if you want to keep Katie Mcgrath as a playby, would be for you to make her younger. Since I don't remember if you mentioned her father's race or not in her history, here's a bit of a guideline on halfling elf ages:

ANOTHER edit(sorry): I recently adjusted the numbers I posted her for you before. You can find a better explanation of halflings HERE.

-Another thing I didn't notice before(even though I pointed the sentence out) was that you state "her elemental magic appeared." You may want to refer back to the introduction in the magic thread.

You're almost done, but I still see a few things that have't been fixed. Also, thank you for being patient. Now that my mind is a little clearer, I hope I can give you a much more thought out response.

-I don't know if you saw the update to my post earlier since I think you were in the process of editing her at the time. Here it is again: "Another thing I didn't notice before(even though I pointed the sentence out) was that you state 'her elemental magic appeared.' You may want to refer back to the introduction in the magic thread." This now also applies to "Her mother, being a possessor of elemental magic herself" as well. Here's the Magic thread. On the same note, people generally discover their powers at a much younger age. Having discovered them at 18, she would be considered a late bloomer. This is perfectly fine, I just want you to be aware of this. It might even prove useful in your history, though. I mention in the next point that I still want to see her as someone with a deep knowledge of books and the arcane arts. With her mother being a "wild mage" (you may see an info thread on wild mages or something similar later) they could have figured that Ellena didn't possess the gift since she never showed signs. For one reason or another (maybe trying to spark the magic inside her) Ellena could have started researching the arcane arts. This is only a suggestion, but one that I would take into serious consideration. It could help to stress the reasons for which she was even considered for the librarian position.

-I also haven't seen any revisions on my following comment: "Since she's the librarian, I'd really love to see her love and passion for books incorporated into the history. It could have stemmed from her mothers stories or perhaps she could have spent a lot of time, among the Elendil, reading and delving into books? So long as you can stress this in some way, so that we can clearly see why she was chosen as the Tower's Librarian, you're good." If you have incorporated this, and I just missed it, just let me know. I know you vaguely mention her passion in her personality, but I think something needs to be said in the history, once again, to show us why she was given the job as the librarian. What we really want is someone who has a deep knowledge of the books and the arcane arts, but her history doesn't quite reflect this. I apologize if I seem too picky regarding this, but it's an important role within the tower.

-On another note, we've recently added the Familiars thread. Her familiar would be classified as level 2. So long as you can give her a stronger history with the points mentioned above, this is perfectly fine. You may just want to read up on this thread.

-Could you capitalize the things that need to be capitalized? For instance, her playby's name, her mother's name, her father's name... there's other things that may need to be capitalized, those are just the first things that I saw.

-Even if she doesn't know her father's race, you'll have to put it in under her race. This is mostly so we have a better life expectancy estimate. I know you've already seen the races thread, but in case you don't know what human races are available: Races

-One other TINY little detail. You can find the new application code here. It's short, it's sweet, and all you have to do is edit your first post in this thread and put this code in there instead of the old application.

I think that's about it...

Almost done, I promise!

-Everything is looking a lot better in terms of stressing her affinity for knowledge. I forgot to mention this before, but I noticed Van'ostgar is spelled wrong at the end of her history. It's no big deal, I just wanted to make sure you were aware of the proper spelling.

-I mentioned this in my last post, but you must not have seen it: "One other TINY little detail. You can find the new application code here. It's short, it's sweet, and all you have to do is edit your first post in this thread and put this code in there instead of the old application."
Never mind, fixed it for you.